Friggin' HOA

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn) 08/28/2020 at 14:22 • Filed to: None

1

88

My old deck. The new one is practically identical in size and shape (it’s three feet wider along the house), but it’s using fake wood. Not hot pink or purple fake wood, brown fake wood.

We are doing a backyard remodel, and the first part of that is tearing out the old deck and replacing it with a new one using Trex plastic wood. In order to do this project, I have to submit plans and a plat map to the neighborhood architectural committee. I did that, and they replied that they need to see the color of the fake wood I plan to use, and a photo of the old deck.

Is this okay?

Really? The old deck IS GOING AWAY. And, even if I wanted to use hot pink plastic wood on my new deck, IT’S IN THE BACKYARD WHERE ONLY I CAN SEE IT.

I’m not against HOAs in principle, and this isn’t really even an HOA. It’s more of a committee that makes sure we are staying within the restrictive covenants we agreed to when we bought. But I think this is just a little silly. And now, I have to wait for the committee to review it, which could take up to 30 days. My deck guy could have this done by Tuesday if I didn’t have to wait.

:/

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:26

7

I'll live in the park before I ever buy into a HOA/strata.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:27

9

“we’re worried about Google Earth no longer being accurate, so your deck will be the wrong color in flight sims . In our defense, we’re kind of drunk right now” - HOA

DucST3-Red-1Liter-Standing-By > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:28

1

I say tell them hot pink anyway! Maybe with some highlighter yellow accent pieces added in for good measure

ttyymmnn > DucST3-Red-1Liter-Standing-By 08/28/2020 at 14:30

3

I was going to reply, “Why do you f**king care?” but my wife wouldn’t let me. She’s good about that sort of thing. I’m glad I married her.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:35

3

The saying about b etter to ask forgiveness than permission comes to mind.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: 08/28/2020 at 14:35

7

My strata:

ttyymmnn > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 08/28/2020 at 14:36

2

I asked the neighborhood Google group, and one person said they didn’t bother. I’m also having a paved patio built to the left of the deck, and I don’t think I’m going to bother asking about that. 

Discerning > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:37

3

I'm on my board. If I can’t see it from the road, I don’t care what you do. I approve pretty much anything anyway.

DucST3-Red-1Liter-Standing-By > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:37

1

Lol, mine does exactly the same thing!!

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:38

4

It’s more of a committee that makes sure we are staying within the restrictive covenants we agreed to when we bought.

If there’s no legally binding agreements that would allow them to put a lien on your property, fuck em. It’s the back yard.

ttyymmnn > Discerning 08/28/2020 at 14:39

1

The restrictive covenants seem more geared towards prohibiting boats in the driveway or street and not allowing you to have your car up on blocks in the driveway. Those sorts of things I am ok with. But they pinged my neighbor, who lives on a corner, because he put a window AC unit in the upstairs bedroom and it cold be seen from the street on the side. That seems a bit extreme.

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:39

1

The bureaucracy and red tape sur rounding most HOAs is aggravating.

You could just have your guy do the work and hope they review and accept without changes, which seems plausible.

/ineverrecommendedthesboveandwasnothere

CalzoneGolem > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:40

22

I’m not against HOAs in principle...

I am.

ttyymmnn > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 08/28/2020 at 14:41

1

I think they can write tickets or something, though. But I also think that’s only for things visible from the street, and this isn’t.

TheRealBicycleBuck > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:41

1

As long as you can get a permit from the city, r estrictive covenants can only be enforced by lawsuit and that usually happens when the property is sold. I would remind the “HOA” that it’s probably in their best interest to approve the deck as the lawyer’s fees to bring suit will likely far exceed the perceived loss of value to  their homes from a project which cannot be seen from the street.

ttyymmnn > CalzoneGolem 08/28/2020 at 14:41

0

Well, they do keep the neighborhood looking nice.

ttyymmnn > TheRealBicycleBuck 08/28/2020 at 14:42

1

I live in the county, and there is no construction permit required. This is strictly aesthetic, and they can’t even see it.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:44

2

I just got rid of a 10 year nieghbour who thought she was the HOA. We’re not even suburban, we’re adjacent to the hood that’s not as bad as the HOOD hood. Hence the abundance of bodywork I’ve been doing without asking Karen’s permission. She got the “bedbugs” family evicted from the one rental on our street. I don’t know how, I assume she threatened the landlord. I was threatened with “we think you’re running a business and there are zoning and environmental concerns” (I prime or paint a car on average once in three years) They moved to “White City”  which is exactly what it sounds like. 

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:45

1

I’d say build it, take a picture and say that’s the old one. “See? It literally won’t change the looks!”

atfsgeoff > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:46

16

Clean, inoffensive, well-maintained forced conformity is still forced conformity

TheRealBicycleBuck > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:46

1

Then I would double-down on that statement. Lawyers cost several hundred dollars an hour and they usually have a minimum number of hours. Are the residents in your neighborhood willing to fund a lawyer to file suit against you for a deck which can’t be seen from the road? 

ttyymmnn > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 08/28/2020 at 14:46

0

No Karens on my street, thank god. 

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 08/28/2020 at 14:47

3

*fines everyone $10,000 for remediation.*

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > DucST3-Red-1Liter-Standing-By 08/28/2020 at 14:47

0

The best thing about the special Krylon paints for plastic other than coming in hateful bright colors is that they could permanently recolor any color of plastic board whatsoever. *after installation*.

ttyymmnn > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 08/28/2020 at 14:47

4

Sounds a bit like something my buddy talked about doing. He said that when you go to get your driver’s license, get like super high and have your picture taken when you’re totally stoned. Then, when you get pulled over, the cop will think you look normal.

ttyymmnn > TheRealBicycleBuck 08/28/2020 at 14:49

3

I agree with you 100%, but I don’t need the stress of the confrontation right now. However, if they come back and say I can’t, then we’ll get busy. I’m also doing a paved patio next to the deck. The committee on architectural correctness may never hear about that one.

DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:49

6

Really? The old deck IS GOING AWAY. And, even if I wanted to use hot pink plastic wood on my new deck, IT’S IN THE BACKYARD WHERE ONLY I CAN SEE IT.

So they’d have no idea if you just replaced it ;)

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:50

1

Not actually named Karen,  rhymed with cringer. 

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 08/28/2020 at 14:51

3

Please note: Karen s have been seen vigorously pleasuring themselves over this email.

ttyymmnn > DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever 08/28/2020 at 14:52

1

I know, and the outline of the wood deck on the original plat map isn’t even reflective of the current deck. I could have gone ahead and just had the thing done, but I wanted to do it by the book. I’d rather not have to deal with problems after it’s finished, should a nosy neighbor drop a dime on me. 

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:52

2

That’s extra shitty since it could be a baby’s room or something like that. A/C units visible from the street are against our policy, but the HOA president made it clear they won’t be enforcing it. Why anyone thought it would be a good idea to put that into the policy is beyond me...

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:53

3

I’m not sure that plan is completely foolproof...

What does the driver’s license photo smell like?

BigBlock440 > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/28/2020 at 14:53

0

Maybe I just wasn’t using the right plastic, but I haven’t had any luck with the permanently part.  Especially anything in the sun.

Merkin Muffley > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:54

5

Seen driving through west Texas the other day... seems appropriate

Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 14:59

1

I hate my Trex deck. It’s veeerrrry slippery when it is wet. It is very hot, like burning the bottom of you feet, in the summer. Boards started curling after 2 years. If I had it to do over again I would have spent the extra money on redwood.

CalzoneGolem > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:00

3

Meh.

ttyymmnn > Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition 08/28/2020 at 15:00

0

Interesting. Thanks. 

avalonian > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:03

1

I don't like neighbors like that who insist on knowing what's going on. Its like bro, if you don't hop off. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 08/28/2020 at 15:03

5

Any footage? For legal purposes.

shop-teacher > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 08/28/2020 at 15:04

1

My neighbor, who is actually named Karen, rang my door bell crying when I parked a camper along the back of my backyard, which is the side of their front yard (I’m on a corner lot). I wasn’t planning on keeping it there, but c’mon lady, lets get some perspective on the situation. It had only been there like two hours.

She actually isn’t a bad neighbor at all, but I think of that time whenever  I hear about “ the Karens”

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:04

3

Ugh.

That is all.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > BigBlock440 08/28/2020 at 15:04

0

I know Krylon cut their teeth selling paints with additives to be extra-melty to seep into plastics, but I don’t know if the formula is the same these days. I do know most Krylon paint is no longer the plastic-melty kind but is more or less ordinary paint, so...

Even at then, different plastics will react differently. If I’m not mistaken, ABS (despite being a styrene derivative) is a right bastard to do Chemical Things to.

ttyymmnn > shop-teacher 08/28/2020 at 15:05

0

Another Oppo chimed in on this thread to say they hate their Trex deck, saying that it’s hot and slippery in the rain and started curling after two years. Do you have any thoughts on the material? It seems to be very widely used these days.

Nom De Plume > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:09

2

So why did you tell them. Bureaucrats are bureaucrats. Kowtow to them at your own harm.

Are you sure you are a Texan?  :)

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > shop-teacher 08/28/2020 at 15:10

0

mine printed off parking bylaws and taped them to my door.  Didn’t look good when I went door to door to find out who had a problem. Turns out it right next door had a problem with me parking in front of my own house longer than 23 hours 59 minutes.  Had a problem anonymously, in person when found out, not a problem at all. 

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:11

1

I agree that it’ s ri diculous, but it’s a slippery slope between here and having David Tracey as a neighbor. And no one wants that.

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:11

0

I don’t like to offer unsolicited comments about people’s choice of materials, but since you asked I’ll go ahead. I personally don’t care for that stuff . I think it looks really ugly when it bleaches out from the sun, and it gets INCREDIBLY hot in the sun.

I would use pressure treated pine, and pressure wash and seal it every year or two.  My dad’s pressure treated deck is from 1984, and only now is it looking like the deckboards should maybe be replaced.  He’s actually planning to just flip them over maybe next year.

ttyymmnn > Nom De Plume 08/28/2020 at 15:13

1

I was not born in Texas, neither did I get here as fast as I could. If somebody in Houston hadn’t offered to pay for grad school, I would have been somewhere else entirely. 

shop-teacher > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 08/28/2020 at 15:13

0

Ugh.

I wish we were allowed to park on the street overnight in my town.  Oh well.  It keeps me in check to not be able to.

ttyymmnn > shop-teacher 08/28/2020 at 15:14

0

Thanks. I was hoping to avoid the upkeep. 

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > shop-teacher 08/28/2020 at 15:19

1

What it got her was a prime view of a Malibu for 23 hours 59 minutes, then moved a foot and left for another 23 hours and 59 minutes as the letter of the law allows. (I can be a dick sometimes) 

66P1800inpieces > Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition 08/28/2020 at 15:32

0

I saw a redwood deck a couple years back and it looked really nice. I wonder what the cost difference is.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 08/28/2020 at 15:36

2

Please note: Do NOT “Reply All” when requesting additional information.

DipodomysDeserti > Nom De Plume 08/28/2020 at 15:39

3

I’m pretty sure he lives near Austin, so not really Te xas.

Cash Rewards > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:41

1

Growing up my family used to methods outlined by shop teacher; the deck lasted forever and I somehow have gone memories of being forced to do it as a kid. Built character or some shit

Merkin Muffley > atfsgeoff 08/28/2020 at 15:42

2

Im skeptical that, within reason, they make much difference. 

Merkin Muffley > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:44

3

You should rattle can the old deck bright pink and send ‘em a pic.

“ we were thinking a more neutral color would be nice. Are you SURE you want the old color?"

Merkin Muffley > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:45

1

By the book is almost never the right approach with an HOA.

I finally took the position that anything I do in my back deck is my business

vdubyajohn > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:46

0

I had to go before the zoning board before I could put a deck on the back of my house because back in 1932 they built it 9" too close to the property line. I couldn’t believe how seriously they took that shit.

Discerning > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:50

1

Yeah, that is pretty lame

Mid Engine > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 15:53

1

This is why I don’t have neighbors around me, I do whatever the fuck I want. Trex is an option for sure, but as others pointed out it gets hot/slippery and it’s $$$$. I built a large deck out of Trex once, used pressure treated lumber for the frame. The frame rotted out and the entire deck had to be rebuilt; jacked it up and replace a section at a time. So.. the decking itself might “last forever” but the frame won’t.   

Nom De Plume > DipodomysDeserti 08/28/2020 at 16:17

0

That was the joke.

ttyymmnn > vdubyajohn 08/28/2020 at 16:32

0

My parents live in a townhouse (very narrow, very tall, very long). The neighbor on the other side of the party wall had a shed that ran down the property line in the back yard, and my parents wanted to build a deck up against it. The city, who issued the building permit, said they had to allow a three-foot easement on the property line, but they would take away the six inches that the neighbor’s shed encroached. So they had to build the deck with an absolutely worthless 2.5 feet space alongside it. It was stupid.

ttyymmnn > Mid Engine 08/28/2020 at 16:33

0

The deck builder has said that Trex is, at least with him, about the same price as wood. So maybe we’ll change our mind. We haven’t signed the contract yet.

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 16:43

0

Understandable, but for a deck that size you could literally spend two hours a year, maybe even every other year, and it will stay looking great.

The sealer wouldn’t need to be brushed on.  We always just sprayed it on with a garden sprayer.

ttyymmnn > shop-teacher 08/28/2020 at 16:45

1

I’m going to talk to the builder. He was pushing the Trex, but maybe because we were. But your and other’s replies have got me thinking. He did say that the Trex and wood were about the same price. And the contract’s not signed yet. Thanks. 

shop-teacher > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 08/28/2020 at 16:46

2

That would be my move as well.

I have another neighbor with a driveway that butts up directly to my driveway. He’s been a great neighbor, but he got shitty about my letting a friend park his truck in my driveway for a couple weeks, “too close to my driveway. ”

I so badly want to park the ‘99 F-150 my friend gave me, which leaks prodigious amounts of power steering fluid, directly in front of his house ... but in a slight ly different spot each day. Give him a nice long oil slick to stare at for the next 4-8 years.  My wife won’t let me though.

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 16:57

2

For me, being in Texas, how hot that stuff gets in the sun would make it a no-go.

notsomethingstructural > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 17:30

0

Instead of trex or PT pine maybe use cedar decking. You don’t have to stain it. I brush wash mine once a year so it can patina.

There’s a softwood shortage that’s been on and off for a few years, and I would imagine it’s very competitive to get milled pine due to rona right now. People are also moving away from trex. 

ttyymmnn > notsomethingstructural 08/28/2020 at 18:08

0

Thanks. 

Fuckkinja > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 19:01

1

I build decks for a living. Trex is $40 per 16’. Treated is $15. I would think your builder would charge way less for treated. The composite deck boards that have tiny wood pieces embedded grow mold. The mold is harder to clean  wood deck boards. 

bmil128 > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 20:58

0

We live in the Cinco Ranch suburb of Katy/Houston . We put two chairs on our front porch. I then received a letter from the HOA that said chairs were unapproved and I had to submit an improvement request for them. Same for my now ex wife’s garden flag. Both requiring an illustration of each. The po wer trip these people have is insane.

ttyymmnn > bmil128 08/28/2020 at 21:18

0

Yeah, that’s f**king crazy. Nothing that bad here. 

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > 66P1800inpieces 08/28/2020 at 22:06

0

depends on the composite decking. redwood is typcally on the higher end of wood. And now with shutdown, more than normal demand for home projects, and teriffs wood prices are a bit nuts, so composite may be much cheaper.

ClassicDatsunDebate > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 22:35

0

Here anyway, covenants are put in place by the city to make sure the developer constructs the community how they presented it when they got council approval. They only apply to new construction and disappear after 9 years. If you don’t actually have a HOA, and are not legally and contractually bound, tell them to go fuck themselves.

ttyymmnn > ClassicDatsunDebate 08/28/2020 at 22:38

0

I signed a lot of papers about restrictive covenants when we closed. No idea how binging all that is. 

ClassicDatsunDebate > shop-teacher 08/28/2020 at 22:41

0

Since you’re giving advice on materials, I’m planning a patio stair/ landing  made of toasted white ash.  Kinda looks like dark teak or mahogany....or stained ash without the stain.  Have you ever worked with the stuff?

ClassicDatsunDebate > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 22:45

2

So did I...mainly a waiver stating that I was aware of these covenants.  I consequently found out the info I commented on.  Even if not for this project, you may want to get some professional advice on how binding this stuff is.  

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 22:53

1

Our HOA only cares about what you do in your yard if your neighbors can see it, and that’s the way I ran things.

That said, we put on the form explicitly that we need at least 30 notice to approve before construction starts. People would still routinely come  to me last minute, telling me they have guys ready to start Monday, and could I please approve this over the weekend.

I had other things to do in my life, and sometimes I would need to review plans to make sure they followed code and conformed with neighbors approval. It takes a little time.

But I would tell you if you came to me that the HOA doesn’t care about your deck unless it interrupts utilities or something.

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 08/28/2020 at 22:55

1

I have every reason to suspect this will be a rubber stamp. After talking to many Oppos, I we’re going to investigate wood instead of Trex. If I make that change, I’m not going to run it by the architecture committee. While this is an annoyance because we wanted to start building, it gave me the chance to rethink materials. 

Chariotoflove > Discerning 08/28/2020 at 22:56

1

Me exactly when I was VP on the board and ran the Architectural Committee for seven years.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 23:03

0

I read those other responses, and I agree.  Wood would be better if the price is doable.

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 08/28/2020 at 23:05

0

Yeah, I’m calling the guy on Monday. We haven’t signed anything yet. I was hoping to avoid the maintenance, but I think it will be a better choice in the long run.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 08/28/2020 at 23:16

1

I kinda think there is no way to avoid maintenance, so the best you can do is get something that can be maintained.  Good luck.

Danny Korecki > ttyymmnn 08/29/2020 at 00:11

0

While I was in college, I did a internship for a property management company SC (not important who).

I learned I will never live in an HOA.

1. A lot of rules in many HOAs are ridiculous . There are some rules that make complete sense. You don’t want a neighbor having a big ass boat parked in their driveway for 10 months out the year, etc. but so many rules are just dumb.

2. Retired people have way to much time on their hands. The amount of people who have retired and called me to complain about something that did not affect their house in anyway is TOO DAMN high!

This was all circa 2010-ish, but I will never live in an HOA.

shop-teacher > ClassicDatsunDebate 08/29/2020 at 00:27

1

I haven’t. Since they make baseball bats out of ash, I imagine it’s very hard. Make sure your tools are sharp, and it’s probably best to pre- drill all your screw holes.

ttyymmnn > Danny Korecki 08/29/2020 at 00:36

1

My mom thought about moving to a retirement community in TX. They had a guy in, I kid you not, a PT Cruiser with a light on top as their security and, likely, code enforcement guy. 

smobgirl > ttyymmnn 08/29/2020 at 13:26

0

This just showed up in my Google News suggested articles. Insane.

(Also, HOAs are stupid)